week 29|2017

Being a small business owner-well, just dealing with other humans in general, I encounter a fair amount of nonsense. Some potential customers will give us the runaround for weeks then fall off the earth. (We should start charging for consultations, uh?) A stranger rear-ends you and tells you why they couldn’t avoid hitting you, how you came out of nowhere or it happened so fast, but will not, cannot and does not just apologize. I could go on and on about the apologies I think I should’ve received, but I stopped expecting them long ago; no expectation means I don’t get (as) angry or harbor those negative thoughts, knowing that the other party has no idea how upset I am over here in my head expecting an “I’m sorry” that may never happen! It really is silly and unhealthy. BUT, admitting fault is damn sexy, courageous and necessary- a great sign of maturity.

I feel we’re being hardest on ourselves when we cannot voice a genuine apology. What is the big deal with admitting fault? Why is it so hard to apologize, especially if you know you’re wrong or someone tells you why he feels you’ve wronged him?

We all have lapses in judgement. We’re not perfect. Just say it.

week 27|2017: self-reliance, the secret sauce

I love Darius Foroux‘s conversational, straight-no-chaser writing style. This time, I’m sharing with you his thoughts on practicing emotional self-reliance. I thought I was, but I felt another g-check was in order while reading his list.

In a nutshell, Darius’ six lessons to become emotionally self-reliant are:

  • Have a voice
  • Learn how to master your emotions
  • Celebrate adversity
  • Separate yourself from everything (see: non-attachment love)
  • Get comfortable with yourself
  • Live without regrets

Please read the post for full details on each lesson.

I am still mastering my emotions; I’m the baby in my family and for a while, I was the youngest grandchild/cousin, so I got zero say on planning the party. Zero. It trickled into my adulthood as needing to be heard, a wave of irritation washing over me when (I feel) I’m being ignored… hence why I have a blog?

Another point that struck a chord was living without regrets. HOW, Sway??! you ask? Three words: just do it. Stop not doing the things you want to do. The author says If you’re unhappy or if you want to change, just change your standards. You can’t change the past. Yes, it’s easier said than done, especially if you hurt someone and never apologized or didn’t get to say goodbye or stood firm when you should’ve taken that leap. BUT it can be done! Live and learn, right. Without rushing the process, I’ve learned to forgive myself, forgive others and take the necessary time to move on.

What about you? By Darius’ definition, are you already practicing self-reliance?

Black Father Exposed

These are the kinds of images that we need to see and promote promote promote. I salute all of the consistently involved dads and father-like figures today and daily.

Head in the Cloudland

Cloudland Canyon had been on my radar for over a year; I mean, look at it. After my trip to San Juan, I thought hey, where can I hike that resembles heaven without hopping on a plane? 

20170516_101759

Cloudland is one of sixty Georgia state parks and is located in Rising Fawn about two hours northwest of Atlanta. I don’t mind driving, but I hate narrow, two-lane highways. Half of the drive is two-lane highways. Designate a driver that you trust(I only trust me), because of course, these roads that wind wind wind are the only means to reach the opening of this glorious canyon. There is zero room for error, so you might drive over the side or oncoming traffic won’t leave you enough room and you may crash + die. But it’s so worth it.

We walked down six hundred steps to reach the canyon’s floor. Yea..six HUNDRED. Reason one: waterfalls. And yea, to walk the same amount of steps back up is no joke. I expected to have Serena Williams-esque thighs at the end of the ascent.. but nah. Didn’t happen. I’m still feeling the burn, and we took this trip last month! I suggest a good stretch pre- and post-hike. And mad water intake throughout.

Being here reminded me of how tiny we humans are, how nature is a restorative and that nature always wins. I can’t wait to return in autumn to capture the transitioning foliage.

To learn nerd facts about Cloudland Canyon and see more pretty pictures, check out the Georgia State Parks site. Get out there and enjoy this free beauty, y’all! It awaits you.

20170516_111348

This trip was sponsored by BlackPackerz

All photos captured with my handy Galaxy s13

week 24|2017

Don’t become who hurt you.

Like any worthwhile task, mastering your emotions is ofttimes much easier said than done.

If we haven’t recognized ourselves as a version of the person who’s hurt us, we know someone that took on the role of someone who hurt them and plays it to T. I automatically think of anger. Sadness. Deception. Revenge-seeking. Useless, stagnating emotions birthed from the turmoil someone else has caused. (While that someone is most likely going on with their lives, unbeknownst to your pain + suffering, btw.) And in the long run, you end up hurting yourself by pushing loving people away, denying your pain and letting wounds fester. Languishing in the hurt lets the perp win! Whether or not you choose to acknowledge it, they still hold control if your actions are based on what they did to you. At least that’s how I see it.

AGAIN | Raw Poetic Response & Reflection (a repost)

Pure fire.

AGAIN Cheat on me again Ignore me again Choose her over me again Disrespect me again Yell at me again Don’t buy me anything again Don’t introduce me again Choose them over me again Lie to me again Don’t call when you say you will again Don’t come when you say you will again Copy […]

via AGAIN | Raw Poetic Response & Reflection — authenticitee speaks