week 12|2017

We can’t make people happy;
we can only encourage happiness
to be a part of their diet.
Until they can take that step with
themselves, nothing will matter; it’ll all feel
like tires in the mud.
And every move will feel muted,
every accomplishment will seem to be on a
path they wish they’d found five years ago.
Nothing comes without time, assessment
and application, especially happiness. It
isn’t something that can be force-fed, it
doesn’t arrive in the form of a pill, a bottle,
or even an herb.
Happiness is sought after,
earned and cultivated from within;
and it will only happen when they are ready.
Until then, it will all be just words written
on a sandy shore, waiting to be washed
away without much give.//dáe.

week 10|2017: love without attachment [a repost]

Non attachment love is not about not being connected or not loving each other fully and to the core. For me it’s actually the opposite, it’s knowing that nothing lasts forever and treating that love as if it was the last day. It’s expressing that love everyday, it’s taking nothing for granted. It’s not getting […]

via Love with no attachment.. Is this the best type of love one could wish for? — Breathe Think Write Release

week 4|2017: how + why we lie to ourselves

I can admit I’m guilty of them all at some point, except manic cheeriness; that would never happen. My resting broad face will tell you just how I’m feeling.

Can you admit to any? What can we do to repress the need to lie to ourselves?

 

 

week 2|2017

Whatever you give focused and intense energy or emotion to is what you will tend to experience more of. This is true whether that energy/emotion is positive or negative. Emotions like love, fear, gratitude and anger are all highly energized states and have potent creative power.

So when you let your fear be your dominating emotion about something, you are also simultaneously bringing it to life and making it more real. The same thing happens when you let gratitude be your dominating emotion about something.

If you don’t want something in your life, focus on the opposite of it. Focus on the solution. Resist the temptation to only focus on the problem. Acknowledge the issue, but put most of your energy into creating the reality you prefer.

Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate. Talk about your blessings more than your burdens. Focus on what you would like to experience more of and you will draw more things like it into your life. 

-Ruben Chavez, creator of Think Grow Prosper™

week 50 || 2016

dep

I was making toffee the other day, dancing, listening to the cable music channel and you know they’re sneaking in more + more holiday songs here and there. Anyway, some Christmas songs are mad depressing, right?! I’m sure you can think of a couple, but this one in particular, I believe Gerald Levert sings something like “I don’t want no love songs. I don’t want no eggnog.” I was like damn. Talk about a mood killer. Life is pretty rough if you don’t even want eggnog, which has a reputation of uplifting spirits.

But I get it. I know many of us feel downhearted this time of year. Firstly, it’s cold. And maybe you can’t afford the gifts you want to give or that flight to visit your family. Maybe this is the first holiday season without your mom or lover. Maybe you just hate that capitalism gets all the limelight, year after year. Me too! Whatever the case, please take the time to recognize whatever triggers your unhappiness and ask yourself if it truly matters…I’ll give you a moment…

Of course you answered yes, self, it truly matters.

Why? Because your feelings are valid.

Good. Now that the facade has been removed and you can admit that thugs have feelings too, take time to heal. Make time to heal. Clear your mind. Take a breather. Be human. Cry, dammit! I know you’ve heard the term “you can’t serve from an empty vessel.” It’s true! You can only pretend for so long. And since we all can’t afford professional help and some of us prefer the “alternative” route, I’m sharing a list from Rasekhi Healing of a few pretty simple activities to fight those ill feels of depression:

  • spend time in the sun
  • eat fresh fruits + veggies
  • put fresh flowers next to your bed
  • dress in bright colors
  • watch funny movies
  • spend time with positive people
  • meditate daily
  • pray more
  • chant or sing
  • dance/exercise
  • read spiritual or uplifting books
  • do affirmations
  • do something creative
  • do something new

I’m a realistic optimist who is the worst at being serious [it’s a defense/coping mechanism, so “they” say], but I truly do care about each and every soul that I touch. [Yes, that includes you.] I don’t know where I’d be without my creative outlets, and for that reason alone, I empathize with those whose anti-depressant is suppressed or nonexistent. I know how that darkness feels and it is not a happy place. So, for whoever is ready and strong enough to be honest with themselves about their indescribable feelings of sadness, I hope this helps in your healing.

Take care.

 

 

week 49 || 2016: 33 Morning Rituals

yogahhh

excerpt from xoNECOLE.com 33 Morning Rituals to Start Your Day

What’s the first thing you did when you woke up this morning?

Did you roll over and check your smartphone? I knew it! Is this what the world has come to? Being a slave to Apple and Android? Come on, we have to do better…

Maintaining balance and growth in my life has always been very high on my list, so capturing ways to contribute to such lifestyle is of high importance to me. When I open my eyes I’m sure to open a window for some fresh air, do some light reading, make my bed, drink a glass of warm water or tea and jot down a few of my thoughts. Sounds peaceful doesn’t it?!?!?

Rituals and routines are wonderful, but I still make it point to switch things up a bit every now and then. Some morning I just don’t want to write or have a cup of tea. When I need to pull in some new inspiration this is the list I choose a replacement ritual from:

  1. Take a few deep breathes and take life in.
  2. Stretch for at least one minute
  3. Give thanks/pray/gratitude
  4. Make up the Bed [every single day]
  5. Eat breakfast [not too big though]
  6. Drink tea
  7. Read a chapter
  8. Write down your thoughts [on paper and not on your phone] or last nights dreams
  9. Take a teaspoon of coconut oil and apple cider vinegar
  10. Open your blinds or curtains
  11. Listen to music that speaks to your temperament
  12. Dance
  13. Verbalize a handful of personal affirmations
  14. Yoga
  15. Work out
  16. Do a steam treatment
  17. Paint your nails
  18. Take a swim
  19. Brisk walk around the block
  20. Write down your goals for the day, week, month and year
  21. Do a goal check up
  22. Practice mindfulness – meditate
  23. Drink lemon water
  24. Laugh
  25. Romp around [hubba hubba– I’m such a creep lol]
  26. Make your lunch
  27. Get some fresh air on your patio or porch
  28. Listen to your favorite podcast or audiobook
  29. Make a smoothie
  30. Smile in the mirror for 20 seconds
  31. Look at bright colors
  32. Straighten up around the house.
  33. MOST IMPORTANT: Tell yourself in the mirror how smart, beautiful and deserving you are!

spied on Politics & Fashion, excerpted from 33 Morning Rituals to Start Your Day on xoNECOLE.com | photo cred: pinterest

The Unhappy Wife: A Book Review

As you all know, I’m not the best at book reviews, but I had to do it for my fellow blogging sister, Dr. Garland. She is beautiful, intelligent, honest and inspiring. When reading her posts, I often come away with a handful of golden nuggets and a new perspective, so supporting her new book was kind of a no brainer. Although I’m not married, engaged and never have been, Katherin promised that I’d gain something from The Unhappy Wife. And I did. Absolutely.

keg

Twelve women share one thing in common – the quest for being happily married to the men they chose; however, each one finds herself in an unexpected marital predicament. Inspired by real events and told from each woman’s perspective, these short stories are firsthand accounts detailing the realities of marriage well after each woman said “I do.”

I read The Unhappy Wife in one sitting. It’s a page turner, one wife’s tale being a nail biting thriller. You’ll enjoy it too if you, like me, like to learn about relationships [with a little side of drama]. I found myself laughing, clutching my pearls and shaking my head, thinking this cannot be real life. But with my mother being a longtime fan of shows like Snapped, Forensic Files, Judge Mathis and Dateline, I know these kinds of relationships are not uncommon.

I’m still learning from my experiences, but I saw my [mentally] younger self in many of these wives, being silenced by and committed to selfish boys disguised as men who I knew deep down were not the best match for me. Second-guessing my standards. Thinking I can love him into changing. Or I made him cheat. And that is the commonality: we ignore our intuition, all in the name of what we define as love.

You don’t need anybody else to validate your choices. The answer is always inside you. It’s called conscience. – K E Garland

Whether you’re a man or woman – married or not – The Unhappy Wife will give you a fresh perspective on relationships. And not just marriages, but all relationships. What I took away from this read? Many reminders that you have to know yourself. This is vital for survival and before embarking on any kind of ‘ship.

Don’t try to save face; if it ain’t working, it ain’t working. And that’s ok. We’re all human.

Lowering your standards for someone who is incapable of loving you the ways you need to be loved is not love, nor will it become love if you stay.

Know when to seek help. If it feels wrong, it probably is.

Compromising your happiness and sanity is not love.

There aren’t necessarily “happy endings” for these wives, but rather forward motion and life beyond their toxic situations.

Great job, Dr. Garland. Thank you.

If it doesn’t make you feel fabulous, don’t do it. Don’t buy it. Don’t keep it. And above all, don’t marry it. – unknown

Order your own digital or paperback copy of The Unhappy Wife