The Unhappy Wife: A Book Review

As you all know, I’m not the best at book reviews, but I had to do it for my fellow blogging sister, Dr. Garland. She is beautiful, intelligent, honest and inspiring. When reading her posts, I often come away with a handful of golden nuggets and a new perspective, so supporting her new book was kind of a no brainer. Although I’m not married, engaged and never have been, Katherin promised that I’d gain something from The Unhappy Wife. And I did. Absolutely.


Twelve women share one thing in common – the quest for being happily married to the men they chose; however, each one finds herself in an unexpected marital predicament. Inspired by real events and told from each woman’s perspective, these short stories are firsthand accounts detailing the realities of marriage well after each woman said “I do.”

I read The Unhappy Wife in one sitting. It’s a page turner, one wife’s tale being a nail biting thriller. You’ll enjoy it too if you, like me, like to learn about relationships [with a little side of drama]. I found myself laughing, clutching my pearls and shaking my head, thinking this cannot be real life. But with my mother being a longtime fan of shows like Snapped, Forensic Files, Judge Mathis and Dateline, I know these kinds of relationships are not uncommon.

I’m still learning from my experiences, but I saw my [mentally] younger self in many of these wives, being silenced by and committed to selfish boys disguised as men who I knew deep down were not the best match for me. Second-guessing my standards. Thinking I can love him into changing. Or I made him cheat. And that is the commonality: we ignore our intuition, all in the name of what we define as love.

You don’t need anybody else to validate your choices. The answer is always inside you. It’s called conscience. – K E Garland

Whether you’re a man or woman – married or not – The Unhappy Wife will give you a fresh perspective on relationships. And not just marriages, but all relationships. What I took away from this read? Many reminders that you have to know yourself. This is vital for survival and before embarking on any kind of ‘ship.

Don’t try to save face; if it ain’t working, it ain’t working. And that’s ok. We’re all human.

Lowering your standards for someone who is incapable of loving you the ways you need to be loved is not love, nor will it become love if you stay.

Know when to seek help. If it feels wrong, it probably is.

Compromising your happiness and sanity is not love.

There aren’t necessarily “happy endings” for these wives, but rather forward motion and life beyond their toxic situations.

Great job, Dr. Garland. Thank you.

If it doesn’t make you feel fabulous, don’t do it. Don’t buy it. Don’t keep it. And above all, don’t marry it. – unknown

Order your own digital or paperback copy of The Unhappy Wife 





gentle reminder for my sisters

I know it might be cold.. your bed might be lonely. You may even have a full roster of gentleman callers to temporarily fill that void + make you forget. But, please. Take a beat. Remember

you are a queen.

Don’t let no man half love you.

P.S. I forgot where I read the last part but the first two lines are all me. I hate to see queens that truly desire ardent monogamy settle for part-time affection when a worthy king is somewhere preparing himself for the full-time duty of reminding you why it never worked out with the others.



“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!”

-Erick S. Gray

[originally spied on blackexperience]


Stop watching Iyanla and watch this:

I mean we all know why these conversations go unheard, right? Why homosexuality and interracial dating, marriage and procreation are being perpetuated as a trend/the new norm. Any Black person who doesn’t know, love nor appreciate who they are – regardless of age – will fall victim to the psychological warfare being waged on Black love and togetherness in the media. If you soak up enough images and statements telling you that you and people who favor you are ugly, dumb, undesirable, ghetto, only good for one thing and unworthy of love, you just might start believing that shit! And throw in your male counterparts echoing those sentiments, you may never recover to even be open to any positive, worthwhile partners or friendships.

But these conversations are happening. These men are real. These thoughts do exist within the minds of many Black men.

Thanks for sharing this video, KP! As I mentioned, it had a pornographic influence on me. It is just so damn refreshing to hear my Black brothers speak of us in such high regard! I love the honesty and knowledge they share!

More of this, please.

week 41 || 2016: Don’t Settle

It can be very hard to meet someone who truly gets you. Someone who embraces your quirks. Many are attracted to the physical but will not take the time to know and actually understand you. Relationships these days don’t seem to last because what you find is, you have two people who find each other […]

via Don’t Settle. You deserve butterflies  — Breathe Think Write Release

I Am Searching for Something I Will Never Find [a reblog]

I am searching for something I will never find; a love so pure and ethereal of some kind. Lost in a dream world of fantasy and books; tired of love based on money and looks. Earthy passion has no place for me. Too scared I’ll get up with an STD. Only lust and sex are […]

via I Am Searching For Something I Will Never Find — shelbycourtland

Black Love Matters

Remember when Musiq Soulchild was a rapper? Nah.. me neither.

They have been playing the heck out of his latest new single down here in GA, so I finally peeped the video and had to share. I love that I can always recognize his poetic, soulful sound. And, from what I can recall, he has always been an advocate for Black love in every one of his videos.

I do.. love this. Simple yet effective.

As a true fan boasting each of his albums in my collection, I was overcome with sadness when I found out that after being in the industry for like a decade, Musiq attempted to switch up his signature style due to his perception of mainstream music being more hip-hop focused at the time. [I believe he addresses this in his new track Alive and Well. Ryan Leslie also made this same move and it was horrifying, in my opinion. He’s an r+b singer, too, btw. And a great musician.] I am all for growth, but it’s just weird! Especially for an established artist with a loyal, healthy fanbase.

I don’t know who talked Musiq Soulchild into staying true to himself, but I am thankful.

View the official video for I Do here + download the new album.

More visuals like this, please!