The Unhappy Wife: A Book Review

As you all know, I’m not the best at book reviews, but I had to do it for my fellow blogging sister, Dr. Garland. She is beautiful, intelligent, honest and inspiring. When reading her posts, I often come away with a handful of golden nuggets and a new perspective, so supporting her new book was kind of a no brainer. Although I’m not married, engaged and never have been, Katherin promised that I’d gain something from The Unhappy Wife. And I did. Absolutely.

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Twelve women share one thing in common – the quest for being happily married to the men they chose; however, each one finds herself in an unexpected marital predicament. Inspired by real events and told from each woman’s perspective, these short stories are firsthand accounts detailing the realities of marriage well after each woman said “I do.”

I read The Unhappy Wife in one sitting. It’s a page turner, one wife’s tale being a nail biting thriller. You’ll enjoy it too if you, like me, like to learn about relationships [with a little side of drama]. I found myself laughing, clutching my pearls and shaking my head, thinking this cannot be real life. But with my mother being a longtime fan of shows like Snapped, Forensic Files, Judge Mathis and Dateline, I know these kinds of relationships are not uncommon.

I’m still learning from my experiences, but I saw my [mentally] younger self in many of these wives, being silenced by and committed to selfish boys disguised as men who I knew deep down were not the best match for me. Second-guessing my standards. Thinking I can love him into changing. Or I made him cheat. And that is the commonality: we ignore our intuition, all in the name of what we define as love.

You don’t need anybody else to validate your choices. The answer is always inside you. It’s called conscience. – K E Garland

Whether you’re a man or woman – married or not – The Unhappy Wife will give you a fresh perspective on relationships. And not just marriages, but all relationships. What I took away from this read? Many reminders that you have to know yourself. This is vital for survival and before embarking on any kind of ‘ship.

Don’t try to save face; if it ain’t working, it ain’t working. And that’s ok. We’re all human.

Lowering your standards for someone who is incapable of loving you the ways you need to be loved is not love, nor will it become love if you stay.

Know when to seek help. If it feels wrong, it probably is.

Compromising your happiness and sanity is not love.

There aren’t necessarily “happy endings” for these wives, but rather forward motion and life beyond their toxic situations.

Great job, Dr. Garland. Thank you.

If it doesn’t make you feel fabulous, don’t do it. Don’t buy it. Don’t keep it. And above all, don’t marry it. – unknown

Order your own digital or paperback copy of The Unhappy Wife 

 

 

 

 

If you’re Black, you were born in jail.

Welcome to my first book review blog post ever. I was never good at book reports in school, so I’ll keep it short and just include a few excerpts that spoke to me.

I read[cover to cover] about six books last year, but Between the World and Me was the one that really resonated. I borrowed it from my local library, but it’s no doubt on its way to becoming a part of my collection. It’s an open letter written by the talented Ta’Nehisi  Coates, a beautiful writer. There is such a poetic flow to this work + I appreciate his clear and concise story-telling style. I felt every page, paragraph and statement because it is me he’s speaking to-the hardened and hurt and conditioned. To every Black body that instantly assumes burdens just by being born. Spoken with love and empathy and the hefty weight of brown skin, Ta’Nehisi is literally the voice for every Black parent and teacher and sister and family friend and uncle who love their children [and the village’s children] so fiercely, yet -so conditioned and hardened-can rarely find the means to express that love with an embrace or gentle word.

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Black people love their children with a kind of obsession…I think we would like to kill you ourselves before seeing you killed by the streets that America made. This is a philosophy of the disembodied, of a people who control nothing, who can protect nothing, who are made to fear not just the criminals among them but the police who lord over them with all the moral authority of a protection racket.

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My working theory then held all black people as kings in exile, a nation of original men severed from our original names and our majestic Nubian culture.

 

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..perhaps being named “black” was just someone’s name for being at the bottom, a human turned into an object, object turned to pariah.

 

I knew that Prince was not killed by a single officer so much as he was murdered by his country and all the fears that have marked it since birth. 

 

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You cannot forget how much they took from us and how they transfigured our very bodies into sugar, tobacco, cotton, and gold.

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I wholeheartedly agree with Toni Morrison: This is required reading.

I absorbed so much from this wonderful book. Please share your thoughts if you’ve read it.