week 27|2017: self-reliance, the secret sauce

I love Darius Foroux‘s conversational, straight-no-chaser writing style. This time, I’m sharing with you his thoughts on practicing emotional self-reliance. I thought I was, but I felt another g-check was in order while reading his list.

In a nutshell, Darius’ six lessons to become emotionally self-reliant are:

  • Have a voice
  • Learn how to master your emotions
  • Celebrate adversity
  • Separate yourself from everything (see: non-attachment love)
  • Get comfortable with yourself
  • Live without regrets

Please read the post for full details on each lesson.

I am still mastering my emotions; I’m the baby in my family and for a while, I was the youngest grandchild/cousin, so I got zero say on planning the party. Zero. It trickled into my adulthood as needing to be heard, a wave of irritation washing over me when (I feel) I’m being ignored… hence why I have a blog?

Another point that struck a chord was living without regrets. HOW, Sway??! you ask? Three words: just do it. Stop not doing the things you want to do. The author says If you’re unhappy or if you want to change, just change your standards. You can’t change the past. Yes, it’s easier said than done, especially if you hurt someone and never apologized or didn’t get to say goodbye or stood firm when you should’ve taken that leap. BUT it can be done! Live and learn, right. Without rushing the process, I’ve learned to forgive myself, forgive others and take the necessary time to move on.

What about you? By Darius’ definition, are you already practicing self-reliance?



  1. I.Am.Tash. · 21 Days Ago

    I’m reading it now. I’d like us to meet up at Ebrik or wherever and chat about this, Kellz. I too am the youngest of MANY. LOL. Lord have mercy…this article. Thank you for posting this!

    Liked by 1 person

    • kelley · 21 Days Ago

      Tash! You found me! Glad it resonated with you like it hit home for me.

      Maybe Saturday afternoon?

      Liked by 1 person

      • I.Am.Tash. · 21 Days Ago

        I’d love that! I’ll put it on my calendar. Ebrik Room in Decatur. See ya then, sis! Oh wait…what time works for you?

        Liked by 1 person

        • kelley · 21 Days Ago

          Ahhhm, I’ll have to text you. Dropping of some event goodies by noon so sometime after that.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. I.Am.Tash. · 21 Days Ago

    Also, interesting how his first name is my last name. Ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I.Am.Tash. · 21 Days Ago

    Oooooh, sis! I’m a FIRM believer in NO COINCIDENCES!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. K E Garland · 21 Days Ago

    Kelly. This is so weird. I just posted last week (on FB) that we’re all so needy and I wish we realized we already have EVERYTHING we need! I’m reading the rest of his article…

    Liked by 2 people

    • kelley · 21 Days Ago

      Boom! No coincidences, Katherin! It’s true. It seems like people are needier than ever, no?

      Liked by 1 person

  5. K E Garland · 21 Days Ago

    His article was spot on. I loved it. Thanks for sharing it 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. trE · 19 Days Ago

    More and more each day, I am getting better at it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Marquessa · 18 Days Ago

    I’m the “baby” too and having to just go along with whatever was the norm…

    Liked by 1 person

    • kelley · 18 Days Ago

      Yes! Another unlearn I’m working through.


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