week 39 || 2016

I took drama in middle school + I think it helped me come out of my shell. I collected a group of friends in high school who were the perfect mix of awkwardly tall/long, athletic, outgoing, smart, weird, artistic, stylish and funny-all the good things I saw in myself at the time-so they made me feel like I fit in. Then, as a young adult, I broke and went through some dark times and surely thought my heart had turned to stone. But, as years passed, I gave less + less fucks because hey, I am who I am. I can’t undo the past. I still have insecurities and low points. I still need improvement. But I’m confident in myself because I’m still here. My history doesn’t define my future. I’m resilient. My heart is beating and whole. I really really love me. And hey, if I don’t love myself, who’s gonna?

Anyway, I say all that to say I don’t think confidence can be taught. You just gotta go through some shit and stay true to yourself. I do really like this list though…

How to be More Confident

  1. Stop comparing. Stay focused on you.
  2. Relax. Go with the flow and don’t stress the little things.
  3. Love yourself. You are a gift. Nothing would be the same if you didn’t exist.
  4. Be positive and look for the good in every situation.
  5. Do what you love. Life is too short to waste your time doing anything otherwise.

 

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12 comments

  1. themodernmedici · September 28

    You wrote down the thoughts I have on this topic better than I ever could have. “I gave less + less fucks” lol I’m still going through that. You definitely gotta go through some shit to gain perspective. One of my fav Kanye lines is, “to whom much is given, much is tested”, I even got it tatted on myself I believe in it so much.

    Liked by 1 person

    • kelley · September 28

      haha thank you! And thank you for your honest feedback. Shit is real.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Monic · September 28

    Love! I too went through the phase of not having confidence in myself o realizing I needed to love me first! Thanks for this reminder

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ShelbyCourtland · September 28

    I am going to get a little deep here. My mother caused me to doubt myself my entire childhood into my teen years. A school counselor told me that I had the lowest self-esteem of any student she had ever seen. Thanks to me leaving the nest early and finding out for myself just what my talents are, helped me to learn to love me and drop the baggage that my mother loaded me down with. I came out of my shell years ago and I never looked back for it.

    Thank you for posting this. It resonates with me AND how!

    Liked by 1 person

    • kelley · September 28

      Yes! Sometimes we don’t see that the closest people to us can often be the ones that induce the most pain.

      Now look at you, being all inspiring and loving and stuff! Thanks so much for your testimony!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Silksache't · September 29

    amazing tips gurl. I love this

    Liked by 1 person

    • kelley · September 29

      I didn’t make the list but thank you so much! Glad you felt it.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. tunisiajolyn84 · September 29

    Like

  6. nosyjosie · October 1

    If I could get those tips tattooed on my forehead, I would be on a MUCH better track than I am now. Number 5 is my everything right now so its a perfect reminder. On another note – you’re amazingly amazing (lol) so I appreciate the hell out of the less + less fucks that you gave over time lol! Where would we be without them?!

    Liked by 1 person

    • kelley · October 1

      That’d be a bomb tattoo! I say go for it.

      With time, you gather fucks, right? People make you think you need to have some to give. TELL you what you should give a fuck about. But really there are very very few situations and people that deserve the extremely limited amount of fucks I have to offer, so I use them wisely.

      With time and practice, you will definitely get the hang of the whole confidence thing. Thanks so much for tuning in, Josie! So glad it resonated with you.

      Liked by 1 person

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