It’s a struggle, but, as a creator, I often get down a little too hard on myself. I tell myself I should be at this artist’s level, selling my work like her, or have an online gallery like this guy. These thoughts cut me down pretty tough sometimes. But I know how good I am, how much my work has progressed and how good I feel when I do create, even if no one sees it. And instead of beating myself up, I should continue to make things that make me feel good. [As should you.] And use other artist’s work as inspiration instead of a comparability chart. It’s a struggle but it’s worth it.
So I had a recent conversation with an old sister friend. She’s super intelligent, ambitious, educated, funny as hell and beeeeeautiful. She enjoys a little debate, will definitely challenge you if she doesn’t understand your pov. And she’s not crazy, at least not in a bad way. Very cultured and strong and independent and outspoken. Sounds like a babe, right?
What broke my heart when conversing with this lovely gem was that, although she is aware of all of her aforementioned attributes, she feels the need to “tone herself down” to date! As a collegue, I find her extremely refreshing-giving me straight up [no chaser] feedback instead of what she thinks I may want to hear. The problem is men looking at her like she is a problem instead of a goddess. She’ll get approached or even asked out.. but then when she gives an opposing opinion or a reality check, he’s outta there 😦
Liiike there shouldn’t be a brain behind that pretty face? My qualm is that wonderful ladies are continuously being overlooked because of these amazing qualities instead of coveted. My bigger qualm is these same women are dumbing themselves down to appease a boy. And I feel her frustration because I’ve come across some total dweebs [of all ages] with this mentality. The just-shut-up-and-be-pretty-or-even-just-average-looking-and-submissive-and-don’t-question-me mentality.
But what’s really going on here? Why are men so afraid of a little challenge these days? When did they become so lazy? Why is this “fear” so common?
This week ends with the worst “holiday” ever created in life ever.
Valentine’s Day. 😐
Ugh it just irks me! It’s funny because, as a kid, I used to really enjoy it. I got lots of cards from classmates and friends, plush toys, candy and other sweets. But as an adult, I see it for the crock it is! Just another reason for us to needlessly spend spend spend. [BTW, I saw Valentine’s candy for sale the day after Christmas! The. Day. After. Christmas! C’mon!!]
And for what? To prove that you really love your mate? To show everyone how much you care?
This should be shown all the time. And it shouldn’t be a show.
And please don’t think I’m bitter. [I’m a hopeful yet very realistic romantic.] Even when I had a boyfriend on V-day, I’d make it crystal clear gifts and dinner were optional. [And it’s rough trying to get a table or even reservations on this grim evening.] Take me out on February 13th or scoop me up some of that discount candy on February 15th. Whaaaaatt??! Now that’s love!
And if we’re celebrating l o v e, why is it reserved for couples? Sure I see dads out with their daughters or maybe a single mom being pampered by her adult son, but, in general, it’s about two people in love. Romantic love. Why can’t we glorify all kinds of love for people in romantic relationships and singles alike? And/Or love for art or food or travel or nature?
Instead of spending money on dinner or chocolate or a man-sized stuffed bear, spend some quality time with love ones. That’s what I’ll be doing! And that’s the best gift [on any day]. And don’t wait for a day marked on the calendar to do something special, because-duh-eeeeverybuddy else is doing the exact. Same. Shit.
Be authentic. Be spontaneous.
Whether or not you partake in canned Valentine’s Day traditions, enjoy your week and don’t be mad if you don’t get any gifts this v-day. You’re special everyday and don’t think your Valentine’s Day celebration [or lack thereof] is a measurement of your worth or the amount of love in your relationship. And if it is, you have much bigger problemos.
Someday real soon I’ll be able to brag about places other than southern California to get bomb food. But until then, I’ll share a few new treasures I found when I was there about a month ago.
The bestie and I were starving, hunting for the closest Chick-Fil-A, and we found it, but there were waaay too many cars and patrons. And with our death level threat of hunger, we just couldn’t ..so we kept driving. Luckily we quickly stumbled upon Fat Tomato Pizza. Such a cute, quaint spot! With an array of food choices from sandwiches to New York style pizzas to pastas, Fat Tomato has something for everyone with an Italian tooth [instead of a sweet tooth, get it?]
The meal and service was boooomb! So delicious and fresh, you can really taste the difference compared to a gooey processed pizza that’s been under a heat lamp its whole life. Plus they have vegan cheese[???] and gluten-free pizza.
I’d heard nothing but good things about Urth Caffe and I was finally able to try it! Maybe we went on a bad day/at a bad time, because the crowd was crazy! At the Santa Monica location, they pile in the customers like cattle, which isn’t my favorite way to eat a meal around strangers. But at least the food was amazing! I got a toasted bagel and lox, iced chai tea and orange pound cake. It was all just perfect. They give nice, healthy slices of cake and tall glasses of tea. I thoroughly enjoyed the meal, but the crowd was a bit much. I’d give it a second shot though.
I really wanted to try Wooden Spoon in downtown L.A., but they have like five tables. Maybe four. So if you don’t make a reservation [even on a Tuesday night], you will most likely be out of luck. My party and I walked just across the street to the Pattern Bar. It’s very cute yet dark and mysterious-perfect for a romantic date and/or some intimate conversation.
Pattern Bar has amazing signature cocktails [named after famous designers] and yummy tapas for the table to share. A little on the pricey side for the small amount of food you get, but it was pretty dang tasty. I’ll definitely be going back.
February already y’all! Have you kept up with your new year, new you bs?? No? Me either haha. But really, I realized some changes needed to be made long before 01 Jan 2015, so I made them. Or, at the very least, put them in my mind daily. I’ve learned so many things in my short life and one is that you have to create what you want. Not everyone gets a handout or an easy path. The steps aren’t always easy to follow, or find for that matter. Even if it’s time consuming or difficult or no one is encouraging you or patting you on the back, create the life you want through your actions.
Do it for you.
Be your own audience!
Not everyone deserves to know all of your amazing dreams and endeavors. And a lot of folks won’t understand or acknowledge your trials and triumphs.
I know when I accomplish things I have in my mind to accomplish, it’s like a quiet conquer. The clouds clear and the sun shines. And those are kinda the best wins you can have, especially in this world we live in where shells of humans are applauded for being hot and popular and having meaningless, material things.
So do you. Authentic you. Always.